In a made up World
by WeWillEatYourBrain
Summary: Was that some kind of sick joke? Was that a trap the alchemist stepped into? Did he really mean those things he said? The whole situation was just plain weird.... mainly EdVy - mention of RoyArcher - R&R - By Shi - PARTS REDONE
1. About pointlessness and confused Chibis

**In a made up World : Fuck this Reality**

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Warnings: Mucho angst to follow and EdVy, bad language, bad English skillz

Note: Al has his body back, no automail, no Winry and the story is written by me, **Shion**

Inspiration: Linkin Park – Breaking the habit and a weird dream...(I dreamt almost the WHOLE chapter)

If you want someone to check any german sentences, ask me and I'll help you (I'm living in Germany so YAY!! +cough+ sorry I'm coffee-high right now)

Disclaimer: Dun own the shit but I do own the dream-story-FF-whatever-thingy

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Chapter 1: About pointlessness and confused Chibis

Ed and Al were sent to some random lab for a mission. All they had to do was checking the building for anything weird, because some people reported screams, sounding suspiciously similar to someone being tortured. "Probably just some chimeras... but we need to know for sure, so go and see if you can find anything" were the instructions they had gotten from Roy earlier that day.

_'That bastard!_', Ed thought. He was in the building, while Al was outside to call for help, if things would run out of control. _'Like we'd need help! We _never_ needed _any kinds_ of reinforcements. And we_ never will_...' _

Inside, it kinda reminded him of Lab 5. The walls were pitch black, the floor dark gray, but not so dark to call it black. There were no windows and the dull red light, which shone gloomy from the ceiling, didn't really help to see either. He walked down the empty hallways, but didn't see anything.

He continued walking until he reached a staircase and went downstairs. Ed found himself in a passage, from which he could see into the room on it's end. The room was separated by something like a small canal of water, which was flowing through the room, like a river, dividing it in the middle. There was also a change of the light's color noticeable; no longer red but dull white.

The alchemist turned around so he was facing a wall and punched it, while screaming "That's stupid! Here is absolutely nothing!"

"I don't think so." a voice behind Edo said. His eyes widened in horror. Turning around he faced the person he hoped not to meet.

"Oh, no.." he muttered. Envy wrapped a hand around the others throat and pushed him backwards into the wall. As he leaned forward he whispered "Oi, chibi-san, long time no seen." into the blonde's left ear. A crazy, sadistic grin appeared, on the sins features and vanished as fast as it came, leaving his face emotionless.

The alchemist didn't see any sense at the homunculus' sudden and unusual actions. 'What the _heck _is he doing?'

"That's pointless!" he let go of Ed's throat.

--

_I don't want to be the one_

_The battles always choose_

_Cuz inside I realize_

_That I'm the one confused_

_--_

"W-What?" asked the confused blond, stunned by the sins sudden outburst.

"You heard me! Killing you is pointless! Killing itself is pointless! There's no reason for me to do that! Nobody will ever appreciate what I've been doing!No one care about my existence!...It's a pity a can't commit suicide. I just keep coming back to life. That's a fate a have to face..."

He sat down on opposite wall, hugging his legs and burying his head in his knees.

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_I don't know what's worth fighting for_

_Or what I have to scream_

_I don't know why I instigate_

_And say what I don't mean_

_I don't know how I got this way_

_I know it's not alright_

_So I'm breaking the habit..._

_I'm breaking the habit tonight_

_--_

"Why would you want to commit suicide?"

"Because I have nothing worth living for." Ed had never seen a such desperate person, willing to kill theirself without hesitation. It kinda reminded him of himself.

"There has to be something." Envy looked up.

"Like what?? You know nothing..Do you think you'd be able to help me? Why would you want to do that? We're enemies. That's ridiculous. Do you want your self killed? Risking your life for a monster like me..." his voice trailed off as he stared into empty space.

"You're not a monster! Even though, you're not human, you're very human like."

"Why do you even care?"

_Good question. Why did he stay and tried to help his worst enemy? Was he insane? Or was it just plain pity? He just couldn't watch the homunculus acting so un- Envy-ish._

"I don't know. I just don't want you to throw your life away like an empty milk bag." mentally, he slapped himself for the milk-bag-comment-thing. _‚Eww..milk..'_

He sat down next to Envy.

"Why did you come in here in the first place?" the sin asked changing the topic.

"Some people said they heard weird screams.."

"Just some caged chimeras.." _'HA! I knew it! Stupid Colonel..'_

"Well that should satisfy that bastard Mustang.."

"You know what? Thanks for hearing me out. That really helped." Envy pulled Ed into a hug. The shrimp blinked in confusion and before he knew what exactly he was doing, hugged back.

--

_I'll paint it on the walls_

_Cuz I'm the one at fault_

_I'll never fight again_

_And this is how it ends_

_--_

Was that some kind of sick joke? Was that a trap the alchemist stepped into? Did he really mean those things he said? The whole situation was just plain weird...

After a few moments of reminding silence Ed finally said something:

" What now? Are we friends or something?"

"If you want to ...Sure!" Edward was stunned by his companions sudden mood swings.

"Uhh...Ok. So you won't kill me?"

"Nope. But I'll call you chibi."

"I can deal with that..."

" But what if the military finds out?"

"Screw the military! I don't give a fuck!"

...Silence...

"Do you plan on staying like this forever?"

"..Umm...NO!" Ed blushed. Of course he knew he'd had to pull away...sometime...But actually he didn't want to. He felt comfortable this way. Even though if he wouldn't admit it, he _enjoyed _it. It was exactly what he'd needed. He felt lonely, empty. The routine was killing him. It was wake up, eat something, meet Mustang, endure insults about his height, shout like hell, get a mission, travail to Even-god-doesn't-know-where, accomplish the mission and head back to do the same the next day again.

But enough is enough, so he finally pulled away.

"I'd _never _thought I would hug you or see you as some kind of friend. Sorry, but I've gotta go now."said the sin and stood up.

"Wait!" Ed shot up as well.

"Don't worry, we'll meet again."

"How will I'm be able to find you?"

"You'll know. Bye, Chibi!" He disappeared into the dark.

"Wow...that was kinda relieving...and _very_ weird..."

Somehow, the alchemist managed to walk out of the building, whilst thinking about the past few hours. Then it hit him :' AL!Should I tell him? Most likely...NO. He would just freak out and worry to death..'

"Did you find anything, Brother?" Al asked Ed, who was totally oblivious to his surroundings.

"Huh?" was the only response Al received.

"I said: Did you find anything?"

"..Umm...No...just some caged chimeras. That's all.."

"I think we should get going now..." Al looked suspiciously at his Brother.

"Yeah. Let's go ,Al."

--

_So I'm breaking the habit..._

_I'm breaking the habit..._

_I'm breaking the habit...tonight_

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Song is Breaking the habit


	2. Dreams and Desires

**Chapter 2: Dreams and Desires**

Please read and review!

Warning: Angst, yaoi

EdVy

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_Moaning. Kissing. Touching. Exposed skin. Bodies pressing together. An untamable and endless desire for more. Violet meets gold. Green hair spread all over the others face. _

_--_

This was everything the blond alchemist could think of, after the night in the lab. He had a hard time to admit it, but denial was pointless. Mentally he slapped himself for that, but then again, there was nothing he could possibly do about it.

He wanted, desired to touch the alabaster skin and hear the sin whisper "I love you" in his ear. After one whole week without any sign, any clue about the green haired's location, he was starting to go insane. Again alone. He locked himself in his room. Not speaking to anyone. Not even Alphonse. Completely isolated, he stared at the ceiling in his room, whilst laying on his bed.

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It was sunny outside, although some clouds here and there could be seen above the heads of the people in Central, in the sky. Rain was the last thing Ed needed today. He was already pissed off. Mostly because he had to work, but also because he had to see colonel Mustang. Edward was positive, that it was going to be a _very bad_ day. _'Great...'_ he thought sarcastically as he entered the huge military building in front of him.

Work was also a nightmare. The bastard of a colonel asked him over and over question about his non-existent girlfriend, the lucky girl that conquered his heart and obviously his head., or why he was more aggressive than usual. His response was always the same "Screw you, Colonel! Non of your fucking business, bitch!"

It was 9 o'clock. Time for hell. So Ed stood up and got dressed. Due the lack of sleep, caused by the dreams haunting him, he looked like a walking corpse. Skin paler than usual; huge, dark bags under his eyes. He was pretty skinny, due the fact that he couldn't eat.

At Headquarters, the nightmare, began once again. The Colonel was asking stupid question about even more stupid things, insulting his height. Not only a yelling outburst followed, instead a smack across his superiors face. "Fullmetal! What the hell has gotten into you? Are you crazy?"

"I'm sick of that fucking crap! I can't take this anymore! I'm going! Right NOW!"

"Fullmet-!"

"Let him go." Riza said "Otherwise, he'd probably kill you..."

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Ed stormed out of the building and was oblivious to his surroundings, trying to think about where Envy could be. He was just able to notice, that he was in a dark alley, as he bumped into someone. Falling upon his ass, he screamed "Watch where ya goin'!" , rubbed the back of his head and opened his eyes to stare straight into amethyst orbs.

"Envy!"

"Oi, Chibi-san. I always knew you'd be able to find me. How long has it been? A month?" The blond alchemist blinked and shot up, only to throw himself on the sin and hugged him like there was no tomorrow. " I see...you missed me.."

'Hell yeah..' "Maybe we should go to a more...private..place. I need to talk to you."

"'kay."

"Let's go to my place."

"Go ahead.."

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They had went straight into Ed's bedroom. The most private place ever. '_Should I tell him? What if he doesn't feel the same way?'_ Edwards mind raced. _What should he do? What should he say? ' I _have to _tell him. Otherwise I won't know. But I can't literally_ tell _him...than I have to show him_ _what I mean...'_

"So Edo. What now?"

The blond didn't reply. Instead, he bravely walked up to the sin wrapped his hands around the others neck, pulled his face down and kissed him on the soft lips. '_Man, it really _does _feel good...' _

After several minutes of kissing instead of breathing, they broke apart.

"What was that about? I didn't know that you liked me _that_ much.." Ed blushed.

"No need to worry. I like you too." The alchemists eyes widened.'Can he read me mind?' At least he knew now, he had a chance.

Chibi pushed the older boy onto his bed and sat on top of him, leaning down and whispering in the sin's ear "I love you". The homunculus replied with a kiss.

_Moaning. Kissing. Touching. Exposed skin. Bodies pressing together. An untamable and endless desire for more. Violet meets gold. Green hair spread all over the others face. _

This time was it different. It was the same dream as always. But now, it wasn't a dream. It was real. Not in a made up world Ed would rather live in.

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A few hours later, Ed awoke in his bed, naked, head resting on the bare chest of the person he hated once, who was his enemy, but now, his lover. Edward actually he didn't care about someone seeing them like that. If there was a person who understood him, then it was Envy. No one else would be able to. Not even Al. Speaking of which, he didn't know. How should Ed tell his innocent, brother about the situation? He would probably take it the wrong way. That is going to be a hell of explanations...

Suddenly Edward heard footsteps. _'Shit..Al is home and he's heading here. If he sees-' _his thoughts were cut off, because Al opened the door "BRO...ther.."Although he yelled the first part, he got disturbing quite as his gaze fell on the bed. His eyes seemed to pop out of his head at any moment. He looked at Ed and then at the sin and back..

"What's going on? Is that...Envy? Is he...are you...naked?"

"I can explain that!"

"I don't even want to _think_ about what you've been doing in here." he said and left.

It started to rain. _'How fitting..' _thought Ed as he looked through the window and watched the rain dripping from the clouds in the sky. It was a bit melancholy. He knew it was going to be a bad day. He felt it after leaving the house for work. He was _never _wrong with things like that.

Ed looked at the person underneath him and saw violet eyes snap open.

"Did something happen?" Envy asked curious.

"Al came in..."

"Oh, crap. You didn't tell him?"

"No. Not yet. I only hope he doesn't tell anyone. Especially Mustang."

"You know, you look like you haven't eaten in weeks. I could possibly count every bone..." the sin said to switch the topic to another that bothered him. Ed's weight and current state.

"Uhh...that's right.."

"What? You should eat. You could at least try to keep yourself alive.."

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It's kinda crappy but I won't know what to change on my writing skills if you don't review people.

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	3. Explainations and complications

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YayZz! I got some freakin' reviews! Love ya guys! :3 ...at least _some_ people appreciate my work o0

well on with da shit! Today with bonus-material for da loyal reviewers...I put some extra portion of Roy getting paranoid in here..

Enjoy

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**Warnings:** the usual (now with 20 more Roy...hehe I tried to be funny)

**Disclaimer: **still dun own crap..and never will

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**_Chapter 3: Explanations and complications_**

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"I have to talk to Al. Now.", Ed thought that it was time to explain certain...things and to check if he wasn't traumatized from what he's seen before. Let's hope Al hadn't decided on telling Roy about the incident. That would definitely be the end of Ed and Envy's relationship before it really started and of course the shrimp couldn't have that. It was being _a really bad_ day. Just as predicted. Ed stood up and got dressed.

"What about you? Do plan on staying here forever?"

"Well, I sorta left our oh-so-great-hideout-like-mansion-thingy-somewhere-in-nowhere, cause Dante's being a bitch and pissed me off."

"What?You're telling me that you want to stay here? With me and Al?"

"Something like that. I'll probably spend most of the day outside. Just because I left the mansion doesn't mean that I'm not working for them."

"Sure...whatever you say."

Envy shifted his clothes on, stood up as well, but not without saying "See ya later, whore.", before jumping out of the opened window, with ease. "I'm not a whore, you mothafucking palm tree!"was all the blond managed to yell as a reply after the sin. He went down to the kitchen to find something to eat. Right after opening the fridge, Al showed up behind him.

"So. He's the reason you didn't sleep, eat, or talk."

"Al!" Ed spun around.

"I thought about it. After all you finally found someone who understands you. But still, how did you even get to _this _point?"

"Remember that night in the lab? I said see anything except chimeras. I never saw one of them. Envy told me. I met him there. We kinda talked and well..."

"No attempts of killing you?"

"No."

"Ok, I accept your choice. But I still worry.."

"No need to...euhh...is it Ok if he stays here?"

"Why?"

"He left Dante's house, so.."

"Alright brother..." the ex-tin-can named Al sighed. Now Ed felt good, but that of course wouldn't last long.

"Umm..Ed..you have to go to work..."

"Oh crap.."

* * *

At the headquarters, Ed had to wait in the Colonel's office, until he was ready to show up, cause he was cleaning the toilets to avoid paperwork. Well, at least 'til Riza would find out.

Ten minutes of incredibly boring waiting, in the office with the urge to scream Roy's head off if he ever saw him today, were, finally ending. Mustang entered the room.

"You wanted to see me Colonel bastard?"

"Maybe...maybe I just wanted to play a game..Edo.." he said seductively. Mustang's vioce changed into a not so Mustang-like one. Was Edward having hallucinations? Or was the colonel trying to seduce him?

* * *

_Excuse me, do you want to screw? _

_I'm so amazing in the sack_

_Yes, I'm so amazing in the sack_

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"...Are you tying to seduce me Mr. Colonel-sir?"

"No. I'm trying to have sex with you and then keep it a secret from absolutely everyone!"

"What the heck? I dun have time for jokes! Suck my dick, fag!"Edward was getting nervous.

"Roy" bursted out laughing. "That..was priceless..!" the fake-alchemist shifted into Envy, who laughed like a madman.

"What were you thinking? Were you even thinking?"Ed was reliefed. If it really had been Roy, he'd broke every bone in his pathetic body.

"Oh, c'mon..it was just a joke..I mean, I had to take advantage of this situation.."

"What if the real one finds us?"

"Does it really matter?"

"Well...I'd kinda lost me job-" he was cut of by Envy's lips.

"Lustful..bastard.."

"And you love it. After this the rest is all bullshit. And of course I appreciate your delicate offer."

Ed blushed. He hadn't planned _that._

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_I want a lot of profanity_

_With a lot of lost virginity_

_Now take those clothes off_

_And show me what you're made of_

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A bit later, they were making out on the Roy's desk. His neatly paperwork pile was now spread across the floor. Right then when things were about to get interesting, Mustang joined the party, and was NOT too pleased to see his subordinate in such a position. Especially with another guy. He stared at the disturbing scene in front of him. HIS subordinate sitting on HIS desk with a MALE homunculus who was about to...well..suck his dick..

Roy closed the door.

_Blink, blink._

Wait a sec...Edward having sex with a male homunculus in his office? Then it hit him. He kicked the door open to find...Ed leaning casually against the desk. His paperwork was put into a neat pile, like he left it. No homunculus. No one fucking Ed. Everything was normal. Crap, he was getting paranoid. Damn that Riza for threatening him with her gun for not doing his paperwork!

"So...what is so important?"

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It's damn short but I did it! Review!


	4. Roy's desk and other surprises

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**Warnings:** same shit as always, language...

**Disclaimer:** dun own

**A/N:**I know it's probably shitty (well at least chapter 2..hehe +cough+) but still...this time more about Roy and a bit of poetry..on with da shit!

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**Chapter 4:**

**Roy's desk and other surprises**

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_I dun want to live in made up world_

_with my made up friends_

_and my made up love_

_--_

_I dun want to suffer_

_due the fact that this is a dream_

_due the fact that you're not real_

_that you're fake_

_that you're gonna break_

_break me_

_and leave me behind_

_--_

_I dun want to wake from my dream_

_to lose the illusion of this world_

_of the live I can't have_

_I dun want to dream_

_but I dun want to wake_

_--_

_I'm falling into insanity_

_I lost sense of reality_

_with no one who is helping me_

_--_

_Wake me up_

_break me down_

_let me drown in my fantasy - _by ME

_--_

Roy stared at Ed. There an apparent reason for him to wait in his office, but what was it again? His memory was horrible nowadays. Maybe due Riza's gun being so often placed on his head? Anyway.

He had to remember. After a few minutes of silence, reality smacked Roy in the face. To be specific it was Riza who had joined their very lively conversation. She stood right in front of him and yelled at him.

"Colonel!"

"What was that for?!" He rubbed his sore cheek. he had to start doing the paperwork, instead of avoiding it. It could end painful. At least for Roy. It would be entertaining for the others.

"For spacing out and not doing your paperwork!"She shrieked. That annoying habit of spacing out every now and then shouldn't be a habit. It only made the lazy Colonel seem even more lazy than he already was.

Shit..next time he had to be more careful...

"Besides, I have to talk to you. It's important."

"Fullmetal, wait outside the office."

".."Ed glared at him, then left.

"So what is it?"Mustang asked in a bored tone.

"Alphonse told me something I think you should know as well." Riza seemed a bit nervous. She felt uncomfortable telling Roy Edward's secret. Maybe she shouldn't? Was it really smart to do that? She had no choice but to try talking to Mustang.

"Spite it out already.." Obviously Roy was getting impatient.

"He told me, why Edward acted so strange lately. You were right. It had to do with "problems in his lovelife", but it's not the point. The point is he fell for an enemy of ours. A homunculus, to be exact."

Looks like it wasn't an illusion after all. It was real. Oh...my... god...!!Who thought Ed was gay? Seriously, but that would mean the enemy could infiltrate the military with ease, maybe they already had!

"Someone has to watch over Fullmetal. Perhaps it would be better to kill the homunculus, before he kills Ed."

--

"SO, Colonel. What the hell do you want?"

"I have some work for ya."

"If it's chimeras-"

"No, this time it obviously aren't chimeras. Look. This picture was taken from the crime scene."

Roy held a photo in his hand. A very disturbing one. Everywhere was splattered blood and limps all over the place. In the left corner, were some important vital organs. You could even see eyes lying on the blood red strained floor. It was a dark alley. On the wall it read: "Wake up from you're little fantasy world, bitch. THIS is reality."

This, of course was written in blood, too. The murderer not only killed the person, he also made it clear that , there was a bigger reason for the crime. Ed ward couldn't shake the thought off, that it had something to do with him. Even though he didn't know why.

--

Later the same night. Ed was lying on his bed. But he had company. After their "activities" Ed began to talk.

"Perhaps, it's too early for this, but I have a question."

"Spite it out."

"D-Do...Do you...love me?"

"Are you serious? ", the sin chuckled ,"I'm a homunculus. A synthetic human. I can't feel love. I'm like a living doll. I may have emotions, but I can't love. You have to wake up from your made up world where everyone is happy and perfect and shit. Reality has nothing to do with that. Topic change. You know, the little overprotective brother of yours, went to the military and told them about me?"

"WHAT?! I freaking trusted him, I freaking told him _not _to tell anyone. But the stupid prick has to run around and scream 'my older brother's fucking guy who is a insane mass murderer! '"Ed's expression darkened. His brother, his little brother betrayed him.

"That's not all Edo. They are _spying_ on you. But also on me. They wanna kill me, cause they're thinking if they dun I'm, the maniac I am, gonna kill _you_. So what are ya goin' to do 'bout that?" It actually didn't bother Envy much, but that clowns interrupted his "work". And he couldn't let it be this way.

"I'm screwed...I dun have time for this crap! I gonna tell them what _my _opinion is. Stupid assclowns."

--

The next day started with a blast. The blond alchemist was complaining at Roy about how the military hurt his privacy and that Envy was harmless.

"He is not harmless! He is a murderer! How can you be sure that he's not gonna kill you?!" Roy was angry. Obviously. His blood boilt. How dare his subordinate scream at him that way? Mustang was Ed's superior! He didn't deserve that tone. At least that's what he told himself.

"The is the point. I can't be sure, but I trust him!" Ed, screaming on top of his lungs at his boss, was pissed. Not just a bit. _Really_ pissed.

"He is dangerous! We have to kill him! It's for your own good!"  
"Why would _you_ even care? Go fuck your whore-girlfriends, and leave me the hell alone! I dun want to hear anything about that! If you think you can kill him because you think he is dangerous, I quit!"Roy talked as if he knew everything better.

"Like hell you do! You think it's better to have his cock shoved down your throat and get yourself killed afterwards? Is it worth it?"

"It is fucking worth it! Go fuck yourself bastard!" he kicked the door open, stomped out off the office.

"AND IF YOU SUCK SOMEONES DICK, DO IT AT HOME!" Mustang yelled after him. But he only earned questioning stares from people walking by.

Roy returned to his office and sat down. He started to do his paperwork, until he noticed something written on the desk. The things written there confused him even more. HIs irritation could practically be smelled from people entering or leaving the room, as the walked by. "People who fucked in Mustang's office: EdEnvy, AlWin, EdWin, RoyArcher, ArcherKimbley, RoyKimbley...RoyEd.." Wait a sec...RoyEd? That never happened!!

"WHO THE HELL IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS CRAP!!"

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YAY another Chapter done!!

**A/N: **Ed and Winrey never fucked there. That's only because of her revenge..but you're gonna see/read the details in later chapters..hehe


	5. I'm your favorite drug

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**Warnings**: all da same

**Disclaimer: **not own, lyrix by Porcelain and the Tramps – favorite drug

**A/N: **Oh-em-gee!! I've got reviews!! thanks guys! MOTIVATION!! :3

love ya!! Today we gonna find out who wrote that on Roy's desk + Le **gasp!+**0o YAY!!

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_**Chapter 5**_

_I'm your favorite drug_

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It was night at Central. A certain Chibi slept quietly in his bed. This time without a second person. It was a bit disturbing, but our alchemist told himself, "He's probably doing something for Dante and coming later." At 3 a.m a dark figure crept through the open window. The person was covered in fresh blood that colored the floor red. Apparently, a really bad thing happened. Not that it was a surprise. Bad things were happening often lately. The figure could be identified as Envy. He walked towards the bed and was about to shift his clothes off, so the blood was gone, when the light went on and Ed stared at him. Utterly shocked.

"W-Where have you been?"asked the shrimp.

"Out."replied the sin simply.

"Goddammit! Tell me the truth! Why are you covered in blood? Envy!" He was afraid that Envy killed the person. It wouldn't be too surprising.

"Isn't it obvious?" the sin was avoiding the question and blood dripped from his clothes onto the floor. Leaning a hand on the hip he waited for the Chibi's reaction.

"How could it possibly be obvious?"

"Dante sent me on a mission..."

"Mission?"

"Yeah. An execution. Happy now?"

"..." the alchemist was being very talkative.

"What do you think, if I join you in bed, Chibi?"

Edward blushed. Envy made his way to the bed and placed himself on top of Ed.

_--_

Several hours later in the H.Q. Roy was complaining to Riza about the things written on the desk. When she saw the part with Roy an Archer...she smacked across the face. Hard. So hard that he lost a tooth. Ed entered the colonels office and was also told about the fact that his name could be read on Mustangs desk.

"The heck? Oh...that must've been Winry...She was jealous, cause I told her about only seeing her as a close friend and nothing more...BUT I'd like to know why there's a AlWin...OH--EEMM--GEEE!! SHE FUCKING SEDUCED MY LITTLE BROTHER!!"Ed screamed hysterical, while pointing at the name combination.

"Calm down, shrimp. It's not like _you haven't_ fucked on my desk "mocked Roy

"What about yourself?And you're ranting about me being fag? Look at yourself, crotch-sucker!"

"HEY! Dun talk to your superior like this!"It was true that he fucked Archer. Not long ago. But that was before the incident including Archer, Kimbley, his desk, a vodka bottle and working at night, while playing truth or dare AND passing out.

"Who wrote the rest then...?" He asked oblivious to the person he was talking to and nearly spacing out again.

"The people who fucked here?"

"You did. So you have to know, at least about one."

"Like I'd cared...who is this Archer anyway?"

Some vampire-like-looking guy entered the room just then.

"Huh? What is it?"Archer asked dumbly joining there conversation.

"Nothing.._.Frank.._.."The colonel said the name as if it was toxic.

"So, you haven't forgotten that "incident"?"

"Incident? Oh, you call screwing around like a whore an incident?"

"I get it. He's Archer and obviously you're fucking him, but he cheated on you...OK I'm going..."

--

In the afternoon Ed was investigating the crime scene, which was disgusting. He searched for a clue. Anything. But he found nothing. Except blood and more blood. Just as he was about to go home. As he heard a terrifying scream. He ran out of the alley into another until he came to the place, where the next crime had been committed only minutes before. There were limps spread across the floor. A man stood there already and looked traumatized. On a wall was written a second message. "I'm your favorite drug. The side affects are _murderous." _

"Did you see anything sir?"

"Only some person with green hair killing my wife." The guy paled even more and walked away, mumbling something about his wife being only an innocent military officer.

Shit..he was too late..(obviously)The only thing left to do was investigating.

On the dirty street was something that caught Ed's eye. It was a green hair.

"Oh, no..._not you_...Envy..."

--

**A/N: **my shortest work eva!! YAY!! feedback! It's gonna be more angst but also I'm trying to type more humor.

Review!! _**Redone.**_


	6. Truth or Dare

--

**Warnings:** ...you'll see

**Disclaimer:** Dun own

**A/N:**YAY!! another chapter ready!! this chapter will contain a bonus chapter...for those who want to know what happens when Roy, Archer and Kimbley work over time, drink a bottle vodka each and play truth or dare with Greed...o0...+smirk+

I edited the previous chapter a bit...maybe I'll edit this one later...

EDITED!!

on with da story!

* * *

_**Chapter 6**_

_**Truth or Dare**_

* * *

It was already late at Headquarters. Roy and Archer had to work over time. Together. In one office. With Kimbley. It was boring. Their job was doing some...eh...TONS of paperwork. Kimbley entered the silent room. He held a bottle in his hand. A vodka bottle. This was the beginning of a night of DOOM. (**A/N: **hehe...Doom...Anyway...).

"What the hell? What is that?" questioned Roy curious. Well, maybe he could avoid work.

"Alcohol. Vodka." Kimb replied cheerfully.

"So? What are ya gonna da with that?" asked Archer, raising an eyebrow.

"Drinking it. And the other 10 bottles."

"The fuck? 10 bottles?" said Mustang in disbelief.

"Yeah..You wanna help me drink them?"

"Do I have to do the paperwork after that?"

"Dun think so..."

"I'M IN!!" screamed Roy happily.

"...OK.." Kimbley walked across the room and sat on the floor. The others followed.

-- -- -- -- --

"I dare you to jump out of the window!" said a very drunk Archer, rolling giggling on the floor, a bottle in his right hand. It was his 3rd.

Suddenly Greed walked in. He was on a mission. Information gathering for Dante. It was nearly 3 in the morning so he thought nobody was there. Well...FAIL..

"Whoo arre youu?"

"No one."

"I dare you to fuck Roy!" yelled Archer at the sin.

"No, thanks. What about YOU screwing Him an THAT desk. Have fun.."He pointed at Kimbley, then at Archer and ,then at Roy's desk.

"It was a dare!" yelled Archer. A smile plastered on his features.

"Ok.."

"I think...I..." Roy passed out at this point

* * *

Later Roy heard some strange sounds from the other part of the office. Moans to be exact.

"Harder."

"Say my name."

"...ahh...Kimbley.."

"Louder. Scream it!"

"Kimbley! Goddammit..."

Roy's eyes snapped open as he recognized the voice. _Archer'_s voice. Obviously Archer wasn't screaming _his _name. That meant he was cheating on him!

Roy stood up and passed out again.

"Maybe, we should go now..."

"Yeah..."

The next day, Roy awoke in his office. His vision was blurring and he had a bad headache. Oh joy.. He walked to his desk saw written on it : KimbleyArcher.

So he hadn't been dreaming...Man, this was doom.. ..It was a GUY ! A GUY and it was not HIM!

_Flashback end..._

_--_

Roy sat on his chair in his office and stared at the words: RoyArcher, which he had decorated with hearts.

"Cheating bastard..."

But he had fucked Kimbley as well, so they were even.

--

Later the same day in the office:

Roy had to work over time with Archer and Kimbley. In his office. Together. And like the day of doom Kimbley had brought 10 bottles of beer. And Archer decided to play truth or dare on the floor to avoid work. Again.

"I dare you to jump out of the window!" said a very drunk Archer, rolling giggling on the floor, a bottle in his right hand. It was his 3rd.

Suddenly Greed walked in. He was on a mission. Again.Information gathering for Dante. Again. It was nearly 3 in the morning so he thought nobody was there. Well...FAIL..

"Whoooo aaarrreee youuu?"

"No one."

"Wait a sec...you're that guy...with da shark teeth! You havn't done your dare the last time so do it now!"

"I dare you to fuck Roy!" yelled Archer at the sin. Deja vu...

"What the fuck? NO!"

"Yes you are...you can avoid stupid work that way..."

"I'm in!" screamed Greed gleefully.

--

After fucking Roy with people watchin it, Greed decided to go. "I'm so dead after I'm home..." he muttered. Like Roy predicted. His. Life. Was. Doom. ANd this day was doom too. How he hated life.

--Scene break--

Ed was going home from work. It was dark outside. He wanted to talk to Envy about the murders.

This of course was not easy.

He reached the house and went to his room, were the sin was already sitting on the bed.

"Hey, Edo..." he said bored.

"Hey. I wanted to talk to you about the recent murders." Edward said nervously. And shifted from one foot to the other.

"Whatever..."

"Envy, this is serious. Did you kill those people?"

"Ohh...it's always me who did the crime. It's not fair!" he said over dramatically.

"Come on. Tell me the truth. I know it's hard..."Edward drifted into a melodramatic speech over life and other stuff, while turning to the wall and walking across the room, oblivious to his surroundings. As he was finished, he notice Envy's absence and the opened window.

"Damn him!"

* * *

**A/N: **Thanks to all the reviewers!! Love ya guys!! kîîzZZz :3

It was short but who cares?

Sorry IF I'm not updating for a while...I kinda faked my mom's signature for school..hehe...T-T


	7. Betrayal

--

**Warnings:** ...language...Dante-ness

**Disclaimer:** dun own shit

--

**A/N:** ...I'll try to update sooner next time...but I'm gonna have some major pain problems with my teeth from thursday on...so...we'll see...I have currently no inspiration and I feel like the story will end soon (maybe after chapter 10) BUT I will make the last chapter extra long...at least I want to..meh... we'll see...

* * *

LOVE ALL MY REVIEWERS!! :3

_**Chapter 7:**_

_**Betrayal**_

--

The Colonel, obviously bothered by his own problems, was ordered to meet a mysterious lady at her mansion. The building belonged to a person called "Dante". He had been told that she had important information concerning Fullmetal.

Actually Roy wasn't in the mood to deal with others people crap right now, but on the other hand information about how much Fullmetal had screwed things up again were always a bunch of fun.

Mustang was standing in front of a huge mansion, which was mostly built of marble. Back marble. It was kinda creepy. The small path which lead to the entrance was surrounded by roses. Roy had never seen dark blue roses before. What kind of freak lived there? Maybe this Dante was a weird serial killer. Lets hope for the love of Roy that Dante is not being a cannibalistic-psycho-serial killer- bitch-with undead servants- and was hiding rotten corpses in her basement.

The house crept him even more out as he noticed the dark clouds above it. Strangely enough the sun was shining everywhere else. He walked towards the door, as he reached it, it swung open and he was greeted by a old lady in an elegant Victorian dress.

"I've been waiting for your arrival, Colonel Mustang." the lady smiled evilly.

"Let's just get this over with." said Roy impatient.

"It won't take long." Roy could basically smell her evil smirk , when he walked past her into the house, which was rather scary. Oh, joy.

* * *

Meanwhile in Central: it had been the first time in months that Edward arrived at home at daytime and found Envy sitting on the bed.

"Hello, dear Edo." the sin said sweetly, what kinda surprised Ed.

"Uh...hi?" he replied confused. What the hell was he doing here? And what wass with the sweetnes all of a sudden?

"Dun ya have something to tell me?" the homunculus questioned innocently.

"And what would that be?" Ed, getting more an more confused, said.

The sin stood up to see ed in the eyes.

"So...Ed..." His breath tickled the alchemist's face. "What the fuck is that?! What the hell did you fucking do?!" He suddenly screamed on top of his lungs into Ed's ears and held up a small photo showing him and a blond girl. Kissing.

What the hell? Was that WINRY? That had never happened!How..?Ed paled. That wasn't good.

"Who give this to you?" Edward said very carefully.

"Dante gave it to me." Edward took the picture, put it onto the wooden floor an drew a transmutation circle around it. A red light appeared and the photo had become a pile of ashes.

Laughter could be heard what sounded like Dante's voice. The photo was obviously a fake.

"Why did you trust her? It's a lie. The photo was a fake. I would never cheat on you."

"She said Lust took the picture. Lust usually doesn't lie. Why would she?"

"I dun know! I never did that. I think her plan is to separate us. We have to be more careful. Things might get bloody."

* * *

Dante's mansion:

"As you know, Colonel, things have gone rather complicated in the military. Your praised alchemist Edward Elric has gotten himself into a very intimate relationship with a Homunculus, one of mine subordinates. Or you could called it, the enemy. I am not responsible of their actions, though, I do not like my best creation being in love with a human. Not to mention a state alchemist. With your help I can deal with this situation. But only if you don't hunt my dear children of sin."

Dante and Mustang sat face to face on a couch each, coffee table between the couches. On the table were cups of tea and a big cake. Roy had known that this conversation had something to do with Ed and his affairs. But it was strange that this Dante person knew every detail concerning this topic as well. At least he now knew who had created the homunculi.

"I understand. Maybe it is the best to cut the connection between those lovebirds of. I promise we won't bother you. We won't arrest you. We have no evidences which would make you responsible for any crime."

"Will you accept my offer?"

"Yes, we will." Roy felt guilty. But this decision was only for Ed's sake.

* * *

**A/N:** Another Chapter done!! REVIEW!!


	8. Randomness and Hyperness

**A/N: **I'm soooo sorry for not updating .__. but I had some serious issues

**Warnings: **umm..none..

Sorry this is a small ass chapter but depression has become a major issues in my life so has school, family and friends.

**Disclaimer:** dun own shit

But I do own my OC Mion

* * *

**Chapter 8**

**Randomness and Hyperness**

Several days later in the H.Q Roy had his usual issues with his „loyal" and „unlazy" subordinates.

And he still was too busy to do his paperwork. What, of course, angered Riza. Not a only a bit. But it pissed her off like hell. That was kinda not surprising.

Mustang felt guilty about his talk and promise with Dante. He had no choice..or so he told himself.

He ordered Ed into his office. Another day, another mission to be completed.

This time it was some weird shit in a deserted town. Some girl had been kidnapped and being held somewhere in that town. She was a spy of the military and worked with the homonculi from time to time. Most of the time, though, she was useless, because she never fulfilled her missions and could never be contacted.

It was even worse than that. She stopped working for the military and changed sides. Recently, she agreed to help, but only, because of profit for herself.

Now she was kidnapped by some idiots. That could ruin the plan Roy had made. Her name was Mion and due the lack of alchemy knowledge and tiredness and other factors she was easy bait.

So obviously, she had to be rescued. By Ed.

* * *

Archer walked randomly into Roy's office. To freak him out and to mess with his head.

Meanwhile, Ed was talking to Mustang about the mission.

"Why the heck should I do this?", asked Ed curious.

"Because, I order it", answered Roy simply and smirked.

"I dun want to. You fucking ruined EVERYTHING colonel Dumbass!", was the half screamed response the colonel got. Ed's face was red with anger and he almost steamed.

"Hey, fucker, there's your personnel prostitute.", Ed added smirking.

"None of your business shrimp. Fuck off. A report about the mission next week, Thursday, 9 o'clock."

"Why, yes..bitch.", Ed slammed the door close and went home to pack his things and tell Al.

"So, Frank. What's the matter?"

"Ohh, Roy..darling.." Archer said in a suggestive voice and came dangerously close to Roy's face which heated up.

"Nice shoes wanna fuck? Right here on your table." he added.

It wouldn't had been so bad if there weren't another ten officers in the room.

"Frank, what the fuck are you doing?" Mustang whispered angrily.

"Nothing. Getting my revenge?" , Frank said bluntly.


	9. Journey and Revenge

**A/N:**Again, after thousands of years, a new chapter is done! ***hurray**

**Disclaimer:** Dun own shit. But I do on my OC.

**Warnings:** None. Bad writing skills? :o

* * *

**Chapter 9**

**Journey and Revenge**

„Ohhh Roooy..", Archer moaned.

„Not now, Frank! I've got work to do!"

„As if you did any of that. You're just trying to avoid me and paperwork. I thought you loved me!"

Archer was making a dramatical scene which was overheard by the officers and Riza who came into the office to threaten Roy, due to his laziness.

„Oh my, looks like I've interupted something?"

Riza looked kinda freaked out, seeing Archer so close to Mustangs face and obviously trying to seduce him. In front of a audience of 10 officers . What freaked her out even more.

„uhh..Colonel Mustang..are you..?" Riza asked lowering her voice.

„NO! I'm not!Stop thinking such nonsense!"

„You're hurting me feelings, Roy." the other Alchemist said in a sad tone.

„Shut up and get your ass out of here!", Roy was mad. His face literally burnt from anger. He couldn't have his subordinates make fun of him, or be afraid of him, because he was gay. That way, he was sure to lose all of his non-existent respect! His ego was too huge to allow that!

„Okay, that means I'm telling everyone about your fuck-table and us." Frank had a broad grin on his face, when he finished his last sentence.

Roys face paled.

* * *

Ed told Al about their new mission. Ed wasn't too pleased.

„You have to think more positive, brother! We get to help someone! That's great isn't it?", Al said enthusiastically.

„Stop thinking so positive, Al." Ed was frustrated. Why did the Colonel have to ruin his life? That bastard.

„C'mon Al, we gotta get going." the short alchemist said in an annoyed voice.

The two brothers got a hint about the possible location of Mion. Unfortunately, they would have to travail across a desert. Into a deserted town. What surprise. Villains these days. They could at least have gotten a more unique hideout.

Well, Ed and Al took a train to a town near the hideout.

It was a long journey on the train, so Ed and Al had time to discuss a bunch of things.

There was one thing which bothered Ed the most. Where is Envy? What happened to him? And why did Mustang betray him like that?

„..Maybe it's not like you think.."

„He told me all about what he's done! Of course it is like, I think it is!" Ed said angered. He couldn't believe Al doubted him.

„That's the only possibility. We have to ask that spy-person about Envy and Dante

,,Maybe she knows..after all, she works with them, right?"

* * *

So, another chapter done!


End file.
